Before, I always had the negative experience of the disappearance of the ego, of the oneness of Creation, where everything implying separation disappeared - an experience that, personally, I would call negative. Last Wednesday, while I was speaking (and that's why at the end I could no longer find my words), I seemed suddenly to have left this negative phenomenon and entered into the positive experience: the experience of BEING the Supreme Lord, the experience that nothing exists but the Supreme Lord - all is the Supreme Lord, there is nothing else. And at that moment, the feeling of this infinite power that has no limit, that nothing can limit, was so overwhelming that all the functions of the body, of this mental machine that summons up words, all this was ... I could no longer speak French. Perhaps the words could have come to me in English - probably, because it was easier for Sri Aurobindo to express himself in English, and that's how it must have happened: it was the part embodied in Sri Aurobindo (the part of the Supreme that was embodied in Sri Aurobindo for its manifestation) that had the experience. This is what joined back with the Origin and caused the experience - I was well aware of it. And that is probably why its transcription through English words would have been easier than through French words (for at these moments, such activities are purely mechanical, rather like automatic machines). And naturally the experience left something behind. It left the sense of a power that can no longer be 'qualified," really. And it was there yesterday evening. page 203 , Mother's Agenda , volume 1 , 4th Oct. - 1958 |
On the one hand, there is what Sri Aurobindo - who, as the Avatar, represented the supreme Consciousness and Will on earth - declared me to be, that is, the supreme universal Mother; and on the other hand, there is what I am realizing in my body through the integral sadhana.' I could be the supreme Mother and not do any sadhana, and as a matter of fact, as long as Sri Aurobindo was in his body, it was he who did the sadhana, and I received the effects. These effects were automatically established in the outer being, but he was the one doing it, not I - I was merely the bridge between his sadhana and the world. Only when he left his body was I forced to take up the sadhana myself; not only did I have to do what I was doing before - being a bridge between his sadhana and the world - but I had to carry on the sadhana myself. When he left, he turned over to me the responsibility for what he himself had been doing in his body, and I had to do it. So there are both these things. Sometimes one predominates, sometimes the other (I don't mean successively in time, but ... it depends on the moment), and they are trying to combine in a total and perfect realization: the eternal, ineffable and immutable Consciousness of the Executrice of the Supreme, and the consciousness of the Sadhak of the integral Yoga who strives in an ascending effort towards an ever increasing progression. page 209 , Mother's Agenda , volume 1 , 10th Oct. - 1958 |
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It's what Sri Aurobindo always said: FIRST you must accept EVERYTHING
- accept it as coming from the Divine, as the Divine Will; accept
without disgust, without regret, without getting upset or impatient.
Accept with a perfect equanimity; and only AFTER that can you say, 'Now
let's get to work to change it.'
But to work to change it before having attained a perfect
equanimity is impossible. That's what I have learned during these last
years.
And for every detail, it's the same. First, 'May Thy Will be
done'; then, afterwards, 'The Will of tomorrow' - and then those things
will disappear. But first, one must accept.
That's why it takes so long. Because those who readily accept are
... they get encrusted and buried under it; they no longer move. And
those who see the future and what must be have a hard time accepting;
they pull back, they kick and protest - so they don't have any power. page 495 , Mother's Agenda , volume - 1, 17th Dec. 1960 |
Oh, yesterday or the day before, I had the occasion to write a sentence about Sri Aurobindo. It was in English and wentsomething like this: In the world's history, what Sri Aurobindo represents is not a teaching nor even a revelation, but a decisive ACTION direct from the Supreme. page 91 - Mother's Agenda , volume 2 , 18th Feb 1961 |
But for those who are here, we can say, 'It is what the Supreme Lord is preparing for the earth.' He sent Sri Aurobindo to prepare it; Sri Aurobindo called it 'the supramental realization,' and to facilitate communication we can use the same words. Well, this movement (gesture of a rising flame) towards That must be constant - constant, total. All the rest is none of our business, and the less we meddle with it mentally, the better. But THAT, that Flame, is indispensable. And when it goes out, light it again; when it falters, rekindle it - all the time, all the time, ALL THE TIME - when sleeping, walking, reading, moving around, speaking ... all the time. page 178 - Mother's Agenda - volume 2 , 18th April 1961 |
Yes, of course - Sri Aurobindo told me so. But I stay behind, invisible! You don't even need to tell me things - you may tell me if you like, but it isn't necessary. (silence) Now and then, I feel like saying outrageous things.... I almost said, 'How well I understand Sri Aurobindo - who passed to the other side!' I have no intention of doing so, none at all. Not that I'm the least bit interested in all this outer jumble, not for that, but ... I promised Sri Aurobindo I would try.... So.... So, that's that. page 185 , Mother's Agenda , volume - 2 - 25th April - 1961 |
But it doesn't keep them from starting up again! They did so particularly after I read the passage where Sri Aurobindo affirms, 'THIS time I have come for THAT - and I shall do it.' The day when I read this I turned towards him, not actually putting the question to him but simply turning towards him, and he told me, 'Read the book through to the end.' And I know, I know it's true - when I have read the book through to the end I will understand what he has done and I will even have the power to reply to all these suggestions. page 255 - Mother's Agenda , volume 2 , 15th July - 1961 |
And that was when I received the Command from the Supreme, who was right here, this close (Mother presses her face). He told me, 'This is what is promised. Now the Work must be done.' And not individual but collective work was meant. So naturally, because of the way it came, it was joyously accepted and immediately implemented. But when I remember that experience and consider what I have now.... (silence) Well, what Sri Aurobindo did by leaving his body is somewhat equivalent, although far more total and complete and absolute - because he had that experience, he had that, he had it; I saw him, I saw him supramental on his bed, sitting on his bed.(silence) He has written: I am not doing it individually, for myself, but for the whole earth. And it was exactly the same thing for me - but oh, that experience! Nothing counted for me anymore: people, the earth - even the earth itself had absolutely no importance.page 264 - Mother's Agenda , volume 2 , 15th July - 1961 |
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That's exactly what they want - tales about miracles. I don't believe your book can be changed - it's meaningless to snip at it. If you really want to know what I would do, I would write another one, putting myself in their place: something showing a comprehensible Sri Aurobindo - almost a congenial Sri Aurobindo - that is, only the constructive side of his teaching, in its most external form, leaving out ... not the philosophical notions, but the truly spiritual ones, for that is completely sealed to their understanding. They are not ready! They are not ready. (silence) Seen from the European angle, Sri Aurobindo represents
an immense spiritual revolution, redeeming Matter and the creation,
which to the Christian religion is fundamentally a fall - it's really
unclear how what has come from God could become so bad, but anyway,
better not be too logical! it's a fall. The creation is a fall. And
that's why they are far more easily convinced by Buddhism. I saw this
particularly with Richard, whose education was entirely in European
philosophy, with Christian and positivist influences; under these two
influences, when he came into contact with Theon's 'cosmic philosophy'
and later Sri Aurobindo's revelation, he immediately explained, in his Wherefore
of the Worlds, that the world is the fruit of Desire - God's
desire. Yet Sri Aurobindo says (in simple terms), 'God created the world
for the Joy of the creation,' or rather, 'He brought forth the world
from Himself for the Joy of living an objective life.' This was Theon's
thesis too, that the world is the Divine in an objective form, but for
him the origin of this objective form was the desire to be. All this is
playing with words, you understand, but it turns out that in one case
the world is reprehensible and in the other it is adorable! And that
makes all the difference. To the whole European mind, the whole
Christian spirit, the world is reprehensible. And when THAT is pointed
out to them, they can't stand it.
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Mon petit, we had a meditation here on the 15th, at ten o'clock. [[There has been no darshan since Mother's "illness" in March 1962, and there will be none until February 1963. ]] At a quarter to ten, I was sitting here at the table in a total silence. And then ... I can't say Sri Aurobindo came, for he is always here, but he manifested in a special way.... Concretely, in the subtle physical, he became so tall that, sitting cross-legged as they do here, he covered the whole compound - even extended a bit beyond it! He was literally sitting upon the compound; so to the extent that the people meditating were not closed, they were all inside him. He was sitting like that (not on their heads!), and I could feel (I was here, you see) the FRICTION of his presence in the subtle physical - an utterly physical friction! And I saw him (as you well know, I am not shut up in here [the body]), I saw him sitting there, very tall and perfectly proportioned; and then he started gently, gently descending - this descent is what caused the friction - gently, very gently, so as not to give people a shock. Then he settled there and stayed for a little more than half an hour, a few minutes more, like that, absolutely still, but fully concentrated on all the people - they were inside him. I was sitting here smiling, almost ... almost laughing, really; you could feel him like that everywhere (Mother touches her whole body), everywhere. And with such peace! Such peace, such force, such power.... And a sense of eternity, immensity, and absoluteness. A sense of absoluteness, as if all were fulfilled, so to speak, and one lived in Eternity. It was compelling. One had to be just plain dense not to feel it. I don't say there weren't plenty of dense people there. I have no idea (laughing), I haven't asked for their opinion! And afterwards, it's not as though he suddenly went away: he went slowly, slowly, slowly, like something evaporating; then things went back to normal, with various concentrations here and there, various activities.... I think some people must have felt it - maybe they didn't fully understand, since they lack total vision, but they may have felt as if he were descending into them. Because in the afternoon, when everything had returned to normal (he is always here of course, but not that way! He is always here), there was a kind of wave of regret passing through the atmosphere, like something saying, "Oh, this beautiful thing has come to an end! Oh, now August 15 is over, this beautiful thing is over." But it was like I described, something so ... more than concrete, I don't know how to express it, it was ... there was a sense of absoluteness about it. I have often seen him in his supramental light; he has come very often (he used to come when I went to the balcony; sometimes he was above the Samadhi; he came very often). But that ... first of all, the proportions were enormous - sitting down, I tell you, he extended beyond the compound; and he materialized in a way that could be PHYSICALLY felt. And there was such confidence, such joy, such certainty; everything was so sure, so altogether certain, as though all had been accomplished. There was none of that anguish, that tension for things to get done. It lasted about three quarters of an hour; afterwards things returned to normal. It was the most beautiful August 15 we ever had. It lasted three quarters of an hour. (silence) One thing, though (he didn't inform me he was going to do it!) - when I was told that people would be gathering for a half hour of meditation, at once something in me took it quite seriously: "Very well." So I arranged everything for the meditation, and at about 9:45 I sat down at the table - then it began. It took about five minutes to take shape. Ah! Then I understood. He has given us a beautiful gift. All his sweetness and all his splendor and all his power and all his calm were there - and far stronger and clearer than when he was in his body! I always had that same impression - it was always like that in his room; and I would always have that impression whenever I met him. And even when I was working, all the while I would feel him behind me, doing everything. But this was much stronger. Much stronger. It was ... one was caught up and there was no way to get out of it. That's how it was - something ABSOLUTE. page 315-17 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 18th Aug 1962 |
Once I told you about an experience I had, I told you that every time a divine manifestation occurs (what is called an Avatar), there's always a particular "angle of quest," in the sense of an intense NEED urging men along the road of evolution towards the Goal, the Transformation, and each avatar saw from a particular angle, believing it to be THE Goal. [[See Agenda III, November 27, 1962, p. 436 ff. ]] When I had that experience, I saw it was the need for Immortality that drove the Vedic Rishis. It came back to me yesterday, and I noted it down: (Mother reads a handwritten note) The Vedic Rishis thirsted for Immortality, Buddha wanted Permanence.... Then I looked, wondering, "And what was Christ's path?"... Basically, he always said, "Love thy neighbor," in other words brotherhood (but that's a modern translation). For him, the idea was compassion, charity (the Christians say it's the "law of Love," but we're not yet there - that will come much later). So I wrote: Jesus preached Compassion.... Then I thought: now, Sri Aurobindo, it's quite clear; for him, the goal was Perfection. Perfection not in the sense of a summit but of an all-inclusive totality in which everything is represented, has a place. And I saw that this Perfection would come - must come - in stages. He announced something the realization of which will stretch over thousands of years. So it must come in stages. And I saw that what I find essential, indispensable (everything is there, everything finds a place, yet there is a kind of anguish - not a personal anguish but a terrestrial anguish), is Security. A need for Security - whatever you attempt, whatever you seek, even Love, even Perfection, it needs Security. Nothing can be achieved with the feeling that all opposing forces can come and sweep everything away. We must find the point where nothing can be touched or destroyed or halted. Therefore, it's Security, the very essence of Security. So I wrote: Sri Aurobindo promised Perfectionand to attain it, the first requisite, what men need today, is Security. All the global trends that result in "peace movements" of one kind or another, are nothing but this: they are expressions of the quest for Security. My own experience is a supersecurity, which can be really found only in union with the Supreme - nothing, nothing, nothing in the world can give you security, except this: union, identification with the Supreme. That's what I told you: as long as Sri Aurobindo was here in his body, I had a sense of perfect Security - extraordinary, extraordinary! Nothing, nothing could make a dent in it - nothing. So his departure was like ... like a smashing of that experience. [[See Agenda III, November 30, 1962, p. 440 ff. ]] In truth, from the supreme point of view, that may have been the cause of his departure.... Though it seems to me a very small cause for a very big event.... But since in the experience that Security was taking root more and more, more and more firmly, and was spreading ...[[Mother commented further on this passage in the following conversation. ]] Probably the time had not come. I don't know. As I said, from a universal and everlasting (I can't say "eternal"), everlasting point of view, it's a small cause for a big effect.... We could say it was probably ONE of the causes that made his departure necessary. Consequently, according to the experience of these last few days, the quest for Security is but a first step towards Perfection. He came to announce (I put "promise" deliberately), to PROMISE Perfection, but between that promise and its realization, there are many steps; and in my experience, this is the first step: the quest for Security. And it corresponds fairly well to the global state of mind. page 100-01 , Mother's Agenda , volume 4 , 27th March 1963 |
But of course, Sri Aurobindo always said: "For the Work to be complete, it must be general" - one cannot give up. An individual attempt is only a very partial attempt. But the fact that the Work is general delays the results considerably - well, we have to put up with it. That's how it is, so that's how it is. page 299 , Mother's Agenda , volume 5 , 28th Nov - 1964 |
On the afternoon of the 5th, after I had understood clearly and seen everything and done everything, suddenly ... (you know how Sri Aurobindo used to take away illnesses: it was like a hand that came and took away the disease), it went away just like that, it was taken away, literally taken away like that, and the body was INSTANTLY fine. Oh, you know, I am still flabbergasted. Just as if you had a hood over your head, and something comes and removes it: pfft! all the symptoms, all gone. It's wonderful. When this Power works, we will see something. page 320 , Mother's Agenda , volume 6 , 7th Dec - 1965 |
Once, very long ago, when Sri Aurobindo was telling me about himself, that is, his childhood, his formation, I put the question to him, I asked him, "Why am I, as an individual being, so mediocre? I can do anything; all that I have tried to do I have done, but never in a superior way: always like this (gesture to an average level)." Then he answered me (at the time I took it as a kindness or commiseration), "That's because it gives great suppleness - a great suppleness and a vast scope; because people who have perfection in one field are concentrated and specialized." As I said, I took it simply as a caress to comfort a child. But now I realize that the most important thing is not to have any fixity: nothing should be set, definitive, like the sense of a perfection in the realization - that means a dead stop in the march forward. The sense of incapacity (with the meaning I said of mediocrity, of something by no means exceptional) leaves you in a sort of expectation (gesture of aspiration upward) of something better. So then, the most important thing is suppleness - suppleness. Suppleness and breadth: reject nothing as useless or bad or inferior - nothing; set nothing up as really superior and beautiful - nothing. Remain ever open, ever open. The ideal is to have this suppleness and receptivity and surrender, that is, so total an acceptance of the Influence that whatever comes, naturally, spontaneously and effortlessly the instrument adapts itself instantly to express it. With everything, of course: with the plastic arts, with music, with writing. page 58 , Mother's Agenda , volume 8 , 18th Feb - 1967 |
(Mother reads Satprem a quotation from Sri Aurobindo:) "To be perpetually reborn is the condition of material immortality."Sri Aurobindo. That's excellent.page 253 , Mother's Agenda , volume 8 , 2nd Aug - 1967 |
But didn't you see Mridu? [[Who was Sri Aurobindo's cook, and round as a barrel; she left her body seven years earlier, in September 1962. ]] No.She's there (huge gesture, laughing), just as she was! ... I saw Purani, I saw Mridu, and the other day (I told you) I saw Amrita and Chandulal talking together. That whole place looks like downstairs, but it's not downstairs. So it's the place all right. I've had hundreds of visions there, I have them almost every night, and it's always nearly the same. But there's a crowd! And all kinds of people .... But does one work there? What does one do? What do all thesepeople do?According to what Sri Aurobindo told me, with those people he is preparing what will take place on the earth. page 255-56 , Mother's Agenda , volume 10 , 23rd July - 1969 |
Once you told me that you had seen Sri Aurobindo supramentalon his bed.... [[ See Agenda II of 15 July 1961. ]]Yes, yes. Was there an "extra" element there, or something that isn't therenow, or not yet there? There was a luminosity. The substance was ... not radiant but... I can't say "luminescent" because it was a golden color, but like luminescent bodies: it was a kind of golden mist coming out of his body. What I meant was: is it an element (I who don't see anything),an element not present now, or not yet present, or what?My impression was ... yes, I might say that the proportions in the combination of matter weren't the same. That's something I very often wondered about as far as bones are concerned - how will it be? There is obviously a suppleness, a flexibility and a plasticity that are impossible for our bodies as they are. So ... as long as there is inside this sort of rigid framework, how can it be plastic? But it was in Sri Aurobindo?I SAW him like that - I didn't touch him. He was luminous and the impression was one of plasticity Only, he isn't physical, so in the subtle physical that's the way it is; but in the subtle physical there are no bones. The transition between this and that is what's difficult. (long silence) Basically, it's having a permanence without fixity. Until a new species was conceived of, it was thought that along with fixity there was death and dissolution, and there was no notion of something that would be permanent on earth BUT without being fixed.... We can't say it's impossible, because everything is possible, but ... it means something very different in the combination of matter. Once you said, you told me that one would become visible or invisible at will - but that means a very great plasticity.(Mother shakes her head and plunges in) And ...(Mother shakes her head again and plunges back for a long time) We have a long way to go.page 137-38 - Mother's Agenda , volume 11 , 4th Apr 1970 |
(Message from Mother) When Sri Aurobindo left his body he said that he would not abandon us. And in truth, during these twenty-one years, he has always been with us, guiding and helping all those who are receptive and open to his influence. In this year of his centenary, his help will be stronger still. It is up to us to be more open and to know how to take advantage of it. The future is for those who have the soul of a hero. The stronger and more sincere our faith, the more powerful and effective will be the help received.page 22 - Mother's Agenda , volume 13 , 2nd Jan - 1972-1973 |
(Message from Mother:) Sri Aurobindo came upon earth to announce the manifestation of the supramental world. Not only did he announce this manifestation, but he also partially incarnated the supramental force and gave us the example of what we must do to prepare ourselves for this manifestation. The best way for us is to study everything he told us, strive to follow his example and prepare ourselves for the new manifestation. This gives life its true meaning and will help us to overcome all obstacles. Let us live for the new creation and we will become stronger and -stronger, while remaining young and progressive. page 48 - Mother's Agenda , volume 13 , 30th Jan - 1972-1973 |